Midwest Buddhist Meditation Center

     Buddhism is the teaching of an Enlightened Being, revealed and shown to the world by Gautama Buddha 588 years before Christ.  Buddhism in those days was known as Dhamma, the Law of Nature, well expounded by the Buddha.  Buddhism recognizes family as the first institution in our lives and our parents as the source of our basic knowledge. Since Prince Saddhattha Gautama attained enlightenment and came to be known by the people as the Buddha, he introduced Dhamma for family life, a path known as Gihipatipatti or Dhamma for householders. This new teaching consisted of six ways to practice by reflecting upon the directions of society.  Father and mother are the eastern direction, wife and children are the western direction, teachers are the southern direction, friends are the northern direction, colleagues and employees or working folk are the direction below, monks and nuns or religious persons are the direction above. 

     Today’s Western culture emphasizes individual independence as better than sharing, co-operation, and mutual responsibility.  This attitude is reflected in current male/female relationships and employee/employer relationships in which each person tries to get what they want most for themselves, but the guidelines taught by Buddha can be adapted to 20^th century American culture and promote harmony and happiness between people.

     Sigala worshipped the ten directions as his father told him to do, seeking blessings from the gods and goddesses worshipped in India.  Buddha met him while on his alms round early in the morning and taught him a new, practical way of worship which Buddhists throughout the world still follow today.

1.  Relationship Between Parents and Children

     Buddha said to honor the Eastern direction means to respect our parents who gave us our lives, looked after us and brought us up.  Parents restrain us from wrong ways, encourage us to do good, give us education and hand their wealth to us at the right time. We, as their children, help them look after their affairs and we maintain the lineage and tradition of our family.  We also should be worthy of their heritage.  When parents die, children should perform good actions to make merit for the deceased in their names.

2.  Relationship Between Teachers and Students

  To honor the Southern direction refers to teachers to whom students or pupils serve in five ways: 

1. By standing to receive the teacher when he or she enters a classroom;  

2. By helping attend to the teacher’s needs;    

3. By paying full attention to what is taught;   

4. By eagerness to learn;  

5. By offering personal service.

 

When the teachers have been ministered in the above five ways, they should then help students in the following ways;

1. Training the student as the teacher has been trained, and advise them what to do;                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

2. Take care in teaching them what they ought to know;   

3. Teach each subject without keeping secrets;   

4. Praise them among friends;   

5. Provide for their security in all directions, so that they will always be looked after wherever they go. 

These two directions should be taken by the heads of households so blessings and happiness will be theirs.

3.     Relationship Between Husbands and Wives

     To honor the western direction, behind, signifies honoring the wife or husband.  The Buddha explained in the Sigala Sutta that someone should respect their wife in the following ways:  

1. Praise her and pay due respect to her;   

2. Do not despise or look down upon her;  

3. Be faithful to her;  

4. Honor her and share household affairs;  

5. Present her with dresses and ornaments, if possible     

 

The wife respects her husband by:

1. Performing household duties to the best of her ability; 

2. Providing hospitality to relatives and friends of her husband; 

3. Being faithful to her husband; 

4. Paying full attention to all her duties and responsibility;

5. Looking after valuables and property of the family.

“My dear Sigala,” the Buddha said,  “If husband or wife of any family lacks these virtues, he or she will not be happy in family life.”

4. Relationship Between Friends And

    Friends.

     Honoring the northern direction is to honor the friend. Friends should be good and sincere to each other.  The characteristics of good friends are described by the Buddha as:

1. They share things and speak kindly and pleasantly to each other. They are the same in weal and woe, one not forsaking the other if the other has troubles.  A good friend will even die for the sake of a friend;

2. Friends offer help and protection to each other when one is off guard and not able to watch out for themselves. Friends encourage each other to do good;          

3. Friends should have a good attitude and should not be impulsive toward each other. Someone does not rejoice over a friend’s misfortunes, but does rejoice when their friend has good fortunes;

4. Friends are truthful and reliable in their word, and stand by each other in time of danger.

5. They keep secrets, and reveal their secrets. They inform each other of what has not been heard before and show the way to a happy life (heaven);

6. A good friend guides their friend to avoid harmful drugs, encouraging them to avoid harmful activity such as smoking and intoxicating drinks.

7. They protest against anyone who speaks ill of their friend, but they admire those who speak well of their friend.

5.     Relationship Between Employers and Employees

The direction below ourselves symbolizes working people.  Employers have the following duties to perform:   

 1. Assign workers duties suitable to their skill and strength;

2. Care for them and provide means to keep them healthy;

3. Grant them an occasional vacation; 

4. Provide opportunities for them to upgrade their education and skill.

 

When employees are treated with these virtues, they may perform the following duties towards their employers, namely:

1. Start work on time and complete work on time; 

2. Be sincere in all endeavors; 

3. Constantly strive to improve their work and their skill;  

4. Praise, honor and remain loyal to their employers.

These virtues, if applied, help development in every facet of our lives, our family and in society.  Without these virtues, work cannot be properly finished.

6.     Relationship Between Lay People And The Monks

      The last advice given by the Buddha is to honor the direction above. The monks and nuns or religious teachers are regarded as the above direction to whom the lay people may pay respect and honor.  Monks, nuns and religious teachers serve

people in many ways without thinking of return and rewards by protecting people from unwholesome actions and guiding them to do good and purify their minds.  They help people develop a compassionate and kind mind, revealing what they have never heard before, helping them clean and purify their minds and guiding them to a happy and peaceful life.  “Sigala,” the Buddha futher advised, “People should uphold monks, nuns and religious teachers in the following ways; 

1. Help them meet material needs and treat them with kind deeds and kind words;

2. Help them with kind treatment and with kind thoughts;

3. Welcome them to our homes for religious advice and Dhamma talk;

4. Provide them food, medicine, clothes and accommodation so they may pursue monastic life in comfort.

 

Buddhist Virtues for Householders

      Truthfulness (Sacca) is the first virtue given by the Buddha.  This virtue conforms to the Fourth Precept, which is to avoid false speech, to refrain from telling a lie, gossiping, back beating, speaking harshly etc. Other virtues Buddha said people need to cultivate include taming and training oneself (Dama);  patience or forbearance (Khanti); charity or generosity (Caga).

Family: What is family?

     Family is the first institution in our society which provides many forms of education to its members, not only moral and ethical education but also science and arts. These are needed to be strong and unique families in every society.   Social scientists define the family as “The institution as a fundamental social group in society consisting of a man and woman and their offspring.  It also defines as a group of two or more people who share goals and values, having long-term commitments to one another, and they reside usually in the same dwelling places, starting from man and woman living together as husband and five, then children.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Ten Kinds of Human Duties Which Bring Happiness to the Community:

1. Minister to the need of parents;

2. Attend to the welfare of children;

3. Cherish and look after wives;

4. Maintain mutual understanding and strengthen married life;

5. Attend to the needs of relatives;

6. Respect elders;

7.     Remember religious and spiritual  people, inviting them to the home and making offerings to generate good merit for happiness now and in the future.

8.     Remember departed friends and relatives by performing meritorious deeds and transferring the merit to them.

9.     Live by the civil and moral codes of the society.

10. Lead a righteous way of life.

If we as a human being observe these virtues, peaceful family life and happiness will be achieved.

Cause of Fighting:

Buddha said:

Selfish craving is the cause of fighting in all aspects of life. Fighting is conditioned through selfish craving,  Hostility is impelled by selfish craving, Anger is moved by selfish craving, Kings fight with kings, Princes with princes, Priests with priests, Citizens with citizens, Mother quarrels with son, Son with father, Brothers quarrels with brothers, Sisters with brothers. And friends quarrel with friends. Thus given dissension, quarreling and fighting, They call upon one another with fists, sticks, or weapons. And thereby they suffer death or deathly pain. Sigala thanked the Buddha and went home happily. The Buddha then went back to Veruvana Mahavihara to have his meal and teaches another group of people.